


Pillow Talk

by Ranrata



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-25
Updated: 2007-02-25
Packaged: 2017-10-05 03:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ranrata/pseuds/Ranrata
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After House's couch has been rendered...unsuitable for sleeping on, Wilson invades House's bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pillow Talk

“Hey! What’s with the invasion?”

“I’m not sleeping on that couch.”

“Yeah…sleeping in your friend’s bed isn’t weird. And you think you’re so well-adjusted. At least lie the other way.”

“What, so I have to smell your feet?”

“Get out if you don’t like it.”

“Well, there’s no where else to sleep, thanks to your little prank.”

“You mean you peed on my couch.”

“Yes, well, that’s your fault.”

“But _you_ peed.”

“You’re an ass.”

“That’s a well-established fact.”

“Go to sleep.”

“Aw, but Jimmy…”

“Wha – WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“Nothing. It’s all in your head. What does that say about your subconscious?”

“This is getting weird, even for me.”

“Not too weird for me, yet.”

“Because that’s all that matters.”

“You’re catching on. Anything else you catch?”

“Ew, I’m not Chase.”

“I think he tops, actually.”

“Really? He’s so passive – wait, why are we talking about this?”

“Because you apparently put thought into Chase’s sexual positions.”

“So did you!”

“I think about everyone’s sexual positions.”

“Aren’t you tired yet?”

“You suck at evading questions.”

“Good night.”

“Suck anything else?”

“You know, you’re really not clever this late at night.”

“Did I ruin your fantasies of me?”

“Nightmares, you mean. Go to sleep.”

“I was planning on that, but then you came in and now I’m distracted!”

“…Are you trying to weird me out so I go back to the couch?”

“Of course not. I love you. And the couch is a slut.”

“That would make us a perfect match, since I’m a slut, accord–HEY! What the _hell_, House?”

“You’re a slut. You said it.”

“But I’m not easy. Get off!”

“I have money in my wallet.”

“Amazing. Now shut up.”

“You’re going to fall off the bed over there.”

“Ow!”

“Hate to brag, but told you so.”

“Stay on your side!”

“This is _my_ bed. All sides are my side.”

“I’m going back to the pee-couch.”

“But Jimmy! Your body heat!”

“_Good night_, House.”


End file.
